With all due regards to Jim Stafford for writing the song of that title...
There
conservatively are between 16 and 24 Republican Presidential candidates who
will be vying for the GOP nomination next spring. Each of them will be trying
to "out conservative" the others for the support of the
Fox-manufactured electorate. That electorate will be demanding that their pet
candidate be as far to the right as they themselves are, but no further.
The candidates
are so numerous that the "debate" sponsor, Fox News Network, had to
split the population into two portions. There will be the Big-10 who will
bracket Donald Trump on the main stage while the remainder will be afforded the
consolation stage and a TV slot ahead of Prime Time hours.
Irrespective
of which stage a candidate is on the opportunity to engage in meaningful
"debate" will be next to non-existent. These 2 dozen individuals will
have just about enough time to utter 2 or 3 half statements that shows the
one-half of the electorate of "likely voters" just how conservative he
or she is.
The half statement
will consist of the part they want to the viewing public to hear while the
other unspoken half is the truth about what they really support.
Here is a
list of the possible statements with the (…) to indicate the dividing line in
the whole statement.
I am
anti-abortion and will stop them entirely by defunding any organization that provides
abortions… regardless of all the other provided
health services that benefit Americans.
I am
Pro-life and will stop the murder of unborn babies… but once they are breathing
air, they are on their own. My responsibility stops there.
I will stop
illegal immigration and send all the illegal ones back to Mexico… without
regard to the fact that many of them are Honduran, Guatemalan, Nicaragua,
Columbian, El Salvadoran, Ecuadoran.
I will
deport the 11 million illegal immigrants… even though many of them have
children who are Americans and it would take 272,727 motor coach loads to move
them to the US border.
I am against
taxes… even though taxation built this nation and the national infrastructure
is crumbling.
I am for
individual freedoms and religious liberty… unless you are black, gay, unmarried
woman, poor, old, sick or disabled.
I am for repealing
Social Security and Medicare… because Wall Street doesn't have a big enough
hand in managing the funds and taking profits.
I am
pro-Israel and support continued funding… so that they may continue their genocide
of Palestinians and take the land for radical Jewish settlers.
I am for a
strong US Military at home and around the world… even though its line item is
the largest portion of the Federal budget.
I am for
attacking Iran for their desires to build an atomic bomb… even though the new
proposed treaty will curtail those ambitions.
I support
fossil fuel mining and drilling because America needs energy… regardless of the
environmental degradation they cause, the fact that alternative sources are
fast overtaking coal, gas and oil everywhere else in the world.
I support
banning GMO product labeling because it is unnecessary… due to the fact that people
may not want to eat such foods.
I believe
that climate change is a hoax… even though we are seeing significant changes
already and it is inconvenient to the fossil fuels corporate profits.
I am against
same-sex marriage because I believe it is a sin … and I find it icky even
though there is no biblical prohibitions and the Constitution claims that all
people will be treated equally.
I support
"right to work" laws… even though that is fascist code for the
ability of employers to pay less in wages and benefits.
I am against
raising the Minimum Wage because it is anti-business and a job-killer… even
though taxpayers subsidize all employers who pay below the poverty line to
their workers. (Subsidizing businesses is okay, subsidizing people is not.)
I support
the rights of everyone to possess a gun for self and family protection… even
though most gun deaths are committed on one's self, a friend or family member,
spouse or significant other. The fact is gun manufacturers need more sales and
more customers.
... and Just Added:
I am for drug testing of Food Stamp recipients to not give taxpayer money to drug users... so that we can punish the children of low-income workers and reward the drug testing companies who need our support.
This list
could go on and on but like the debate time slot, space is limited. There will
be no GOP candidate that deviates from the core in such a manner that he or she
stands out from the rest. Nobody will have the chutzpah to venture outside the
confines of the right-wing. Well maybe except for The Donald. He will say
anything he wants to say because he is in the race for the race not for the finish
or the ribbon. He will be the only highlight to the evening.
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